Mightier than the Sword. . .

April 29, 2008

The future is….yesterday

Filed under: politics — annemprice @ 7:13 am
Tags: , , ,

Back in college, prominent Americans used to arrive at our school for a lecture series, nearly monthly. There were Charles Kurault, Alexander Haig, Steve Allen, Ben Vereen, Allen’s wife (whose face is right in my head right now, but whose name I’m too lazy to look up — and who was, by all accounts, not a very nice person in real life), Charlton Heston – the list far out-paces my memory banks.

Recall interviewing many of them, but the only one who left me utterly starstruck, gobsmacked and dorky was — Kurault. A true journalist and soft soul, he was simply wonderful in person. And I was tongue-tied, just a mass of lame unholiness. Mumbled something erudite and profound, along the lines of “love your work” and turned crimson, my sweaty little palm grazing his big, encompassing paw. Nothing like an original line from a cool customer.

Of all these, I remember very little of what was said. And the one man whose words resonate with me nearly every day — I do not recall his name. He was utterly brilliant though. What he said, what runs through my head an average of once a week, was this:

Civilizations die out not from the questions they ask and the challenges they meet, but from the challenges they failed to meet because of the questions they refused to ask.

At the time, at a sage old 19 or 20, I remember thinking, “Huh?

He went on to cite the oft-used example of The Roman Empire. Which, you know, means not a whole hell of a lot to modern teens, even though we were all forced to read about it endlessly in history classes throughout school.

And yet, his words really do haunt me, now, in the face of what is happening in our nation and the world.

Food has risen 82 percent in cost over the past four years. My stimulus check will yield approximately 6-8 weeks of groceries, or roughly one car payment and one house payment. Not to complain about the money (except for the fact that it feels like the Bush administration is a cheap John and we’re all a bunch of classless hookers for taking it and, they hope, shutting the hell up). Just to say that it is a band-aid placed over the bloody stump of our middle class arm.

The NYT reported today what we’ve known and done absolutely squat about in nearly 40 years:

OPEC’s 13 members plan to spend $150 billion to expand their capacity by five million barrels a day by 2012. But OPEC will need to pump 60 million barrels a day by 2030, up from around 36 million barrels a day today, to meet the projected growth in demand. Analysts say that without Iran and Iraq — where nearly 30 years of wars and sanctions have crippled oil production — reaching that level will be impossible.”

The questions we refused to ask ourselves, or really try to answer, are closing in around us like Poe’s Cask of Amontillado, and we are going to go out by immurement just as frighteningly and tragically. There is simply not enough oil to sustain our planet beyond a certain point, and that point was known to us for quite some time. Ethanol production is contributing to third-world country starvation and food riots as we divert the grain, and the long-range prospects for ethanol as a viable substitute to oil do not look good.

Perhaps they would have looked much better, had we started in earnest working on that production in the 1970’s.

No amount of US hegemony, even if it does result in controlling the oil reserves of Iraq and Iran, will be a magic bullet and produce more oil than what reserves the Earth currently holds. So, while we’re busily spending billions a week, trying to hang-on to our fantasy of dominance in the 21st century and the gravy train for a (comparatively speaking) select few, doing so through needless slaughter of Iraqi people and our own children, we’re still doing absolutely nothing for our future. In fact, if we diverted that money into alternative fuel research, we could possibly actually change the course of our collective destiny.

And we could have done it a whole hell of a lot better if we’d not been afraid to ask the questions and search for the right answers, back when we first knew what was coming.

Everything we have hinges on oil. Our entire society, from the keyboard I’m typing at to the cigarette in my hand to the car I take to work to the computer at my work station to the seat my butt will park in for 8 hours there. Everything. And we, like the junkies we all really are, refuse to consider the fact that our habit is growing worse even as our supply dwindles. Mad oil consumption in China as well as our own predilection for homes and vehicles two and three times larger than anything really necessary are just versions of us giving the giant middle finger to reality.

We’re not just failing to ask the right questions, we’re deliberately driving ourselves to the wrong answers. And frankly, at the risk of sounding gloom and doom, I truly believe it is almost too late to formulate the right questions and find the right answers in time. But certainly the past eight years have done nothing but set us back even further.

April 28, 2008

Break time news. . .

Filed under: Personal — annemprice @ 2:27 pm
Tags: , ,

Little of this, little of that while on break:

I have (tentatively) two tickets to the Indians game Saturday and field box seats free from work. Yippee. Not sure what I’m going to do with them, but it’s going to be a long day downtown if I go to Bounce afterwards.

I also have the biggest blood vessel in my left eye. It looks ready to explode. Been noticing for months now my left eye runs and runs while I review reports and clean them up. The reports, not my eyes. At any rate, after the glaucoma worries, it’s probably a good idea to go get this checked. Oh, and for anyone interested in PSA — do NOT go reading on the Internets what could possibly be wrong with you if you have a blood vessel the size of Route 2 cruising across the white, headed for the retina. Scary stuff. May not even finish posting before some or another disease, for which this is a symptom, does me in.

In other other news, sometimes don’t like Indians home game nights. The Direct TV blimp never has a message for me. Not even a cryptic one. Yet it circles around and around, threatening to bump into my building and recreate the Hindenburg disaster. Also, parking is a pain.

Yet it’s so much fun to see the crowds of families and fans floating down Ninth to Some Company’s Field. ( Why is it when we get used to a field name, they change it?) Few things make me feel so proud of Cleveland as its sports fans. Even the over-zealous variety. They’re never say die kind of people. Which makes them my kind of people. And their arrival is a sure sign of spring really in bloom, along with the tulips, daffodils, flowering ground cover and Fred, the dessicating squirrel near my front door who has been around long enough to receive a moniker.

(I can’t find it in my soul to shovel him up!!! Know it’s wrong but you know, am just not sure which is worse – leaving him there or putting him in a garbage can. So we named him in the interim. )

With the exception of Fred, all around us again are living things. Fabulous.

April 27, 2008

Ham at the Improv

Filed under: Personal — annemprice @ 2:35 pm
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The glaze packet was mysteriously missing from our ham today – so I improvised. Story of my life.

All I had worth improvising with were a bag of brown sugar and strawberry rhubarb spread. Took a half-cup of brown sugar, 2 tsps of water, a few tablespoons of the strawberry rhubarb, a bit of cinnamon and a touch of cayenne and blended it over medium heat until smooth.

Ham and homemade potato salad for Easter — again. If only lamb didn’t make me retch.

Here it is, fresh from the oven on one of my new Oneida plates:

April 26, 2008

Dodging a screeching bullet

Filed under: Uncategorized — annemprice @ 2:02 pm

Hurrah – we’re NOT going to hear the death metal bands. Actually told him I’d rather stick glass in my eye and he laughed. Told him that if he couldn’t find anyone else to go I wouldn’t mind doing something else, like seeing my dad or shooting pool or whatever, but no screaming death metal. No way. Uh-uh. Nope.

So he called back about ten minutes ago and said he doesn’t want to go either and would love to do something else.

Woo-hoo. My ears thank you. My brain thanks you. My central nervous system. . .well, you get the drill.

Kinda sucks, though, because I have 10,000 things to do around here before hosting Easter dinner tomorrow. But a night out is always good.

April 25, 2008

Let’s write a death metal song!

Filed under: Personal — annemprice @ 9:13 pm

Nothing like a little creative moment to keep the world spinning on its axis…and what better way to say “I care” than death metal? I mean, really: poignant lyrics, moving, expansive instrumentals…

Am so not going to see those bands tomorrow night.

Will tell Tom that I want to do something more fun. Something a little less painful, like driving a drill bit through my head, or ramming shards of glass into my eyeballs, piece by sharp little piece. Or, you know, shooting pool. If he’s hell bent (no pun intended) on seeing the six squealing bands of mayhem and destruction, he’s gonna have to find someone else to go along with him.

Does this make me close-minded? Well, yes. In a very literal way, too. Spending six hours or so watching these bands that all sound alike (I did visit their individual myspace pages and listen to their music before coming to this conclusion) will likely split my head wide open.

So, close-minded I am, and prefer to stay.

On the way home from work, Her Beanness and I made up our own death metal song.

You can pretty much sing about anything…because nobody can hear what the hell you’re saying. All you need is just a really angry voice, the ability to howl as if someone put your genitals in a vice, a few lines depicting brutal aggression mixed with love, the cursory reference to Satan, and some super loud, high-speed, clangy guitar chords.

We didn’t have a guitar.

So we opened the windows and began our downtown serenade for Indians fans who’d been enjoying the open air. Until then, anyway.

Here is our death metal song. Scream along to the words in bolded caps, with your face twisted into an evil sneer, and chant menacingly the words in itals:

Chicken POT PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE
You’re hot, so hot, dammit — hot as hell
Steaming like the devil himself (the devil, the devil)
Coming OOOOOUUUUT of eternity’s oven
You make me want to DIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!

(Enter hard and racing guitar chords here)

Chicken. Chicken. Chicken POT PIEEEEEEEEEEE
Chicken. Chicken. Chicken POT PIEEEEEEEEEE

(Add loud menacing and repetitive drum solo here)

There is no way to keep hope alive,
We are DOOOOOOMED if we even TRYYYYYY
Man’s inhumanity to poultry makes me CRRYYYYYYYYYY
Crunchin’ on the vicious, rotting crust (crust…crust)
Of my CHICKEN POT PIIIIEEEEEEE!!!

So, we were hungry. Sue us.

A fly in the ointment

Filed under: Personal — annemprice @ 1:41 pm
Tags: ,

So, you know how you’re walking through life, planning and doing, when suddenly you’re thrown for a loop? I’m having one of those days. Thrown, but in a good way. My friend Jen (not Mrs. Kargakos, but Mrs. S) calls me at work to say that Tom wants me to go to a concert with him tomorrow night.

Backstory: I met Tom at Jen’s (Mrs S, not Mrs. K’s) Superbowl Party this year. We bonded amidst a flurry of off-the-cuff exchanges about….seriously….glory holes at rest stops and the idea of creating a “One Tank Glory Hole Trip ” book ala Neil Zurcher. The subject matter had been raised by John. Tom and I just, oh, elaborated on it. Pretty much all night. With 7,000 new jokes. We also were fighting over who would get Jen’s daughter Elaine’s fake jewelry and stuffed animals. (She was walking around choosing who was special enough to be the recipient – we turned it into a contest. He looked quite pretty in the tiara.)

Anyway, off we are going to Peabody’s tomorrow night to see: Solipsist
w/ To Envy The Horrid, Bloodwolf, Buried By Angels, The Thrown, Hollowpoint, Nova Prospect, Painting My Horror, and The Apocalyptic Fist Of The Black Death

The. Apocalyptic. Fist. Of. The. Black. Freakin’. Death.

Are you laughing as hard as me? Try this on for size — I’m a blues fan, but when not listening to blues, you will find Cat Stevens, REM, Queen, Bob Dylan, The Stones, Counting Crows and Death Cab for Cutie in the Altima cd player.

So, um….To Envy the Horrid ? Probably not likely to sound too familiar.

At any rate, me and Tom, whose last name I don’t even know, who looks like Simon Cowell and is a mere 30 years old, will be no doubt meditating to the dulcet tones of Bloodwolf in about 27 hours. And he’s not from okcupid, PoF, Lunch Date or speed dating. He’s from my very regular, very non-dating life.

See – thrown for a loop. A good loop, but a loop, nevertheless.

April 21, 2008

Journalistic Integrity….another oxymoron?

Filed under: politics — annemprice @ 12:10 am
Tags: , ,

Guess I can handle the antics of Curious George Stephanopoulos on the ABC Presidential debate last week; who ever thought him a serious journalist? The former Clintonite was always more unholy ambition than accredited reporter. So his appalling efforts to get back into the good graces of Bill and Hill were no big shocker, save for their transparency.

But Charles Gibson? Ugh. I was a fan, once. So his display of just how out-of-touch the media is with regular Americans lodged in my guts like a bad seafood enchilada with poisoned green onions: sat for five seconds and then, bringing on rumblings of epic proportion, was promptly regurgitated.

If you love me, you’ll call immediately and clue me in when most of the people I know actually give a crap about freaking lapel pins and William Ayers. When the burning question in all our minds concerns Reverend Wright and his relative hate or love for America. When what happened 20-40 years ago with some obscure someone or other who knew Obama actually matters more than how we’re going to continue feeding our kids since the cost of food has risen 82 percent in the past four years.

Newsflash, onscreen hairdos: We can’t afford these kinds of stupid questions. Literally. That’s so very 1990’s of you – back when Americans had disposable income and time to wax poetic on craptastic minutiae. You know, before you helped the corporations destroy our economy.

But, you know, apparently somewhere in Des Moines, these are the burning questions; I know, because Charles and George told me so last Wednesday night. After all, they had prime-time opportunity to ask the two Democratic candidates about what really matters, and we had the chance to learn about. . .lapel pins.

Freaking hell, what is the matter with the media? Are they really such big corporate shills that they’ve outlived any semblance of usefulness?

When questioned about his abominable performance leading the debate, Stepphie said that these things matter to America. Let’s find out more by going to the basic tenets of journalism: To whom does it matter? When? Where? And, finally, how? With a country concerned about our kids getting killed in Iraq, the economy, the cost of fuel, oil depletion, FISA, habeas corpus, executive overreach…we get a debate about non-issues. And atop that, you have the bleeding audacity to tell me that these things matter to us as a nation: which means you think we’re far more ignorant than we even thought you did.

Is it any wonder premium cable is kicking network ass?

Much has been written about this debacle of a debate. Much of it excoriates Gibson and Stephanapoulos, and rightly so. The nasty aftertaste just lingers.

Here, though, is an excerpt from my favorite postmortem, byBob Cesca at The HuffPo. He considers his outrage superfluous to that of a nation tired of being utterly misunderstood and misrepresented by a corporate media out of touch. Well, maybe. But it’s still freaking hilarious and much more illuminating and hard-hitting than that pitiful display of a “debate” last week on ABC:

We like to joke about the “very serious” traditional media. The truth is that while they claim exclusive lordship over integrity and professionalism — not to mention a corner on the world’s supply of pants made of smarty — they’re really a freak show with serious haircuts and suits. They’re a wing of the Republican corporatist conspiracy against America. And the very serious moderators of last night’s Democratic debate couldn’t have been less serious if they had been wearing clown suits made of dildos while simultaneously tickling each other with monkeys.

I don’t really even need to write this. The nation has witnessed, firsthand, George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson for who they really are: pandering yellow journalists. Carnival barkers. They’re Penn & Teller without the talent or insight.

To wit… 50 minutes without a single substantive question. Fifty.”

Clown suits made of dildos? At the very least, that would’ve been worth watching.

The single best comment arising from this debate-o-sham has left me in fits of laughter for the past five minutes, threatening to wake the rest of the house. So worth sharing:

It would be “tough, fair, relevant, and appropriate” to subject George Stepfordwifeopolous to water-boarding, homelessness, post-traumatic stress disorder, Katrina-like flooding, and Abu Ghraib photo sessions in order to help him refocus on the issues that should be at the center of the national debate.”

Ah, probably just some ign’ant middle class, midwestern American who doesn’t wear a lapel pin. Personally, I think the entire “debate” can be summed by this excerpt from Obama’s The Audacity of Hope:

“What’s troubling is the gap between the magnitude of our challenges and the smallness of our politics — the ease with which we are distracted by the petty and trivial.”

Quick, someone explain this to ABC.

April 20, 2008

Dating article numero dos

Filed under: Published articles — annemprice @ 12:38 pm
Tags: ,

It has arrived…the article on “Lunch Date” at about.com.

Oh, and of course, the permalink.

I’ve tons to write about with Markos being on Bill Maher’s panel on Friday, the ridiculous debate and endless fake dust-up over Obama’s “religion and guns” comment, but Bean is making banana bread and I have laundry to do. Oh, and we got Juno today, so there’s that to watch.

For now, here’s Markos on Bill Maher:

Frankly, my dear

Filed under: Personal — annemprice @ 9:30 am
Tags: ,

We drove yesterday to Cadiz to see the Clark Gable Museum. This after erroneously reading the hours and thinking it was actually open. Ha. I do those kinds of things fairly often, actually, getting older. To make matters worse, Her Beanness got a big bug over me peering in the windows, finding it the height of rude.

(No. The height of rude would’ve been breaking that glass pane above the door lock and letting myself in. Know this, because I contemplated exactly how statuesque rude could get before it would have to fear being arrested and jailed.)

But, as usual, I digress.

So, there I am, separated by highly-reflective glass and some timber, from a dream I’d had since 6th grade — here, at the house that Rhett built.

Let me just say this: driving through Cadiz, it becomes readily apparent exactly why Clark Gable left for Hollywood as soon as his gap-tooth grin and big ears were large enough to take him there. Small towns are one thing; I’ve lived in this burg most of my life. Cadiz? Whole ‘nuther thing. Very sad looking. Very small. Yet another coal town in search of a new direction since, oh, 1970 or so. Its nickname is “The Proudest Small Town in America” and also claims fame for being the birthplace of General George Armstrong Custer. (Knew we’d work in a little real Civil War history this weekend.) The signs directing one to Gable’s home are written thusly: Gable and Coal Museum — with requisite arrows. No, they do not share space.

Two signs would’ve been one too many, apparently.

The Gable Foundation and Memorial is not really the house that Gable built, exactly. More it’s the land that Gable lived on, once. The building itself (shown below, note the prominent “Closed” sign) was reconstructed in 1998, complete with a dedication ceremony featuring Gable’s son, John Clark. According to The Foundation’s website, it was painstakingly recreated to be an exact replica.

From Peeping Tom position, I could see lots of little tchotchkes and memorabilia directly inside. I could also see the reflection of one person who badly orchestrated her visit. But let’s forget about that, shall we? Because I spent most of yesterday afternoon being reminded, loudly.

There’s also a few neat signs:

and a nifty monument:

But this I liked best of all — the brick paving sold to citizens in order to raise money for the project:

Suppose I give a damn, too. Enough to make another trip next month back to the middle of nowhere, Ohio, past the scenic Tappan Dam (courtesy of the Army Engineers) and the Tappan River.

Don’t worry Clark; tomorrow is another day.

April 17, 2008

Dead men do tell tales

Filed under: Uncategorized — annemprice @ 9:45 pm

Can hardly wait to head back to MA this year to visit Catharine. Not just is it great to see her whenever, but since it’s summer that will mean a trip to Sleepy Hollow Cemetery.

Flying my freak flag: I love to visit cemeteries.

This weekend, we’re headed to Gettysburg, if conditions remain favorable. Her Beanness is learning all about the Civil War (her summary – Lee was great, MccLellan was a moron and Lincoln was overall great, but a toad for suspending habeas corpus). While helping her study last weekend, I raised the road trip and she seems kind of jazzed. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t quite grasp how maudlin a trip it’s gonna be. But, that’s okay.

Few things I’ve kept from the light of my life; mommy’s propensity to commune with the dead seemed a good place to start.

Across from Cath and Jerry’s former home was an ancient, ruinous cemetery – very small. Like so many developments, these beautiful, monstrously huge homes were built across every square foot, save this tiny little corner on the hill. Some of the graves are so worn you cannot read the headstones; others are in bunches, one large and several tiny, entire families wiped out in the same few weeks. I assume they died from something heinous: typhoid, malaria….the kind of thing that used to create mass family funerals. Amongst these simple granite markers were larger, more ornate headstones, much more recent – soldiers from both world wars and Vietnam.

But, without a moment’s hesitation, I’d have to say Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord is my version of Mecca. First, it’s huge and steeped in American history. Not just any old piece of history, though: literary history. Thoreau and his family are buried there, moved from The New Burying Ground on Bedford Street, (yes, that’s really the cemetery name) along with his father, brother John and sister Helen.

Down the winding dirt path a bit are the Alcotts — all four Little Women and both parents, Bronson and Abigail, along with a few of the girls’ children and spouses.

Across the way are Ralph Waldo Emerson and family. Emerson’s grave bears the inscription: “The passive master lent his hand to the vast soul which o’er him planned.” It’s from one of his poems.
Some of the markers for his family are nothing but stones smaller than basketballs. Ditto for the Alcott markers, many of which just carry initials.

Nathaniel Hawthorne and Daniel Chester French are also part of Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, but the latter, not an author, is not on Author’s Ridge. His is a flat, gold-plated marker, ornate and befitting the man who sculpted The Lincoln Memorial.

Save for Hawthorne, who parodied the movement in one of his books, most of the writers were part of the Transcendentalist movement, founded by Emerson and Bronson Alcott. Believers in the theory that God speaks to all human beings through nature and intuition, these individuals graves stand in testament to their understanding that all of nature carries a spiritual basis. You really can feel it, standing on Author’s Ridge, surrounded by woods, acres adorned with very little that’s ostentatious or ornate.

It’s one of the most serene places I’ve ever visited; just feels different. One cause of that is the strict code of rules and regulations regarding temporary decorations: no artificial flowers, wreaths, vigil lights or mulch allowed.

But it’s more than superficial. Here, in one small area, are some of the greatest thinkers and creative literary talents ever in America. Their theories on education, their practices and philosophies helped shape this country. For anyone who cares a whit about writing, even walking among their headstones is a moving, breathtaking experience.

I found myself wondering what they would say about present day America. Louisa May Alcott would likely cheer at the rights women have earned since 1888. Her father, and Emerson, would bemoan the state of literature and what passes for education. But Thoreau. . .Thoreau would weep upon learning what we’ve done to our land. Probably all of them would. Little of the spirituality of nature can be located in the ubiquitous Wal-Marts that lumber across our landscape, somehow benign and frightening all at once.

They are likely happier where they lay, amidst their peers under shards of sun peeking down from between the looming oaks and maples, unaware of how differently America now defines progress.

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